The blue screen, and system crashes might as well replace the Windows traditional logo. No disrespect to its functionality and popularity, but I don’t think there’s anyone out there that has not experienced a system crash. The most fortunate of us can brag about the how long it’s passed since the last OS reinstall, but unless these are the first few weeks when you’re using your computer, we’ve all been through some tough times.

The bottom line is that if there were a program that would be able to reduce the number of times your computer crashes, it would be the most popular one on the Internet, right after, or even above Windows.

Don’t get your hopes up: there is no such miracle worker. But, as the “if you can’t fight it, join it!” saying goes, might as well have some fun at this situation.

Spoof system crashing!

I’ve found a program that simulates operating system hazards, such as blowing up the monitor, exploding the CPU, or formatting the entire hard drive.

The program has a simple look, and no functionality whatsoever (all its “features” are prank ones, and only simulate real actions, without further action). Its sole purpose is to amuse you when your computer really crashes, and gives you a feeling of control over the system’s unpredictable behavior.

The main window allows you to activate the following: sudden system freezes, blue screen crashes, abrupt system restarting, weird screen distortion, system freeze when shutdown, and random program crashes. There’s a crash meter, which lets you set the frequency at which your Windows will stop responding.

Also, you can enable specific program crashing and, for this, there’s a list with some of the most popular applications. You can also add your own application to the list. Remember, of course, that this is only a list, and will not affect any programs from working properly.

You can also launch one of the available utilities: blow monitor up, expel mysterious odor, explode CPU, pollute sound card and speakers, random insult, and send random tendril of smoke from the keyboard.

I especially like the random insult feature, not because I like to be insulted by people, but because it brings some mild fun into the program, with innocent statements (such as “you’re a stale one”) that you can use with your friends at a ball game, or other recreational activities.

Along with the “Default program values”, this is the only feature that actually works; the “Windows defaults” button doesn’t really set the default values for your Windows installation, but it does revert the program’s general settings to the original ones (and, of course, the crashing frequency will be set to the “often” value).

The first time I’ve used this program, I tried the “blow monitor up” action; it’s fun to use, and even fool a friend, because it has a progress bar with a disabled cancel button that leaves you hopeless, expecting the monitor to start fuming.

Seeing a progress bar with the “generating random smell” title advance from 0% to 100% certainly is amusing.

Believe it or not, the program also comes with a help menu. The options that you can use aren’t so many, but they’re all explained in here, and you’ll learn more about each one (it even has screenshot support, so that you can completely understand how it works).

The Good

System Crash Monitor is really fun, and just looking at the options that you can “enable” will bring a smile on your face, mainly because you’ve probably went through pretty much all the cases that are mentioned. The dialog boxes, along with the progress bars make it look like a real hazard is really about to happen.

The Bad

The program doesn’t really do any harm to the computer, which is good, but actions such as fake blue screens, shutting down the monitor for a few seconds, or some visual effect after the “blow up monitor” action is selected would give it a more realistic effect.

The Truth

It’s really fun to work with the program; you’ll always laugh when you think about all the times you’ve fallen with your bike as a child, and the same applies here: when remembering all the rough situations you had to go through, and see that they’re “available” to activate in a program you’ll be smiling and eager to see what happens if you use it. The actions and confirmations that the program uses make it look like an action really is to be performed. Just as the producer states, this is a program that does nothing; I would add "but entertain you" to the statement. Try it!

Åñëè âåðèòü ðàçðàáîò÷èêàì ýòîé áåñïëàòíîé ïðîãðàììû, òî System Crash Monitor 1.01 çíà÷èòåëüíî ñîêðàùàåò ÷èñëî ñèòóàöèé, êîãäà âàøà îïåðàöèîííàÿ ñèñòåìà àâàðèéíî çàâåðøàåò ñâîþ ðàáîòó. Äàííûé ïðîäóêò ñîçäàë Kevin Lyall. Ïðîãðàììà âûïóùåíà 19 èþíÿ. Ðàçìåð çàãðóæàåìîãî èç Internet ôàéëà - 2,5 Ìáàéòà. Òðåáîâàíèÿ ê ñèñòåìå: Pentium 90, Windows 95/98/NT, 24 Ìáàéòà ÎÇÓ (32 Ìáàéòà äëÿ Windows NT). Åñòü äåèíñòàëëÿòîð.

(rough translation)

System Crash monitor will free you from " kresha "

If we believe the developers of this free program, then the System Crash Monitor 1.01 considerably reduces the number of situations when operating system emergencies occur. This product was created by Kevin lyall. The program was released on 19 June. The size of the file downloaded from the Internet was 2,5 Mbytes. System requirements: Pentium 90, Windows 95/98/NT, 24 Mbytes RAM (32 Mbytes for Windows NT). Has an uninstaller.

When Windows operating system blue screen pops up with the dreadful message: "A fatal exception OE had occurred at 0028CO28 etc. in VXD...The current application will be terminated" you know that you have to reboot your system; which could happen in the middle of an important work load or when you are busy online chatting or conferencing with a client.

This fatal error thing was the plague of Windows 95 and some applications running under Windows 98.

The occurrence of the fatal error screen is really annoying. There are some tools available called crash controllers which are supposed to avoid the frequency at which the fatal error blue screen appears. I tried Crash Guard from Symantec and the device available in Nuts and Bolts package from Network Associates International. None lives up to the proclamations of the software producers; the fatal error blue screen still prevails - and strikes always at the wrong moment - particularly with Internet Explorer version 5.5 and some third parties applications.

I therefore searched for alternative to the "popular" crash controllers above mentioned and came across a little tool devised by Kevin Lyall and named: "System Crash Modifier". (SCM)

Believe me or not, since I installed "System Crash Modifier" my desktop (Windows 98) is completely stable and I have a peaceful mind when chatting, conferencing or multi-tasking online with collaborators and clients; I have to worry no more about the nightmarish fatal error blue screen. SCM is a real wonder and you can get it for free at the following link.

We all know how annoying it is when just in the middle of an important work load - rushing to finish a report or communicating / exchanging files / conferencing online with a client / collaborator - our computer froze with the blue screen and the following message: ... the current application will be terminated; and we have to reboot the whole system.

This "fatal error" thing was the plague of Windows 95 and still happens often with Windows 98 and many other windows related applications (Microsoft Word, Internet Explorer - particularly IE version 5.5, and several third parties applications).

There are some utilities available out there in the cyberspace called crash controllers designed to control and avoid the frequency of such unnerving behavior of Windows operating system. The most used are Crash Guard from Symantec and the one integrated in the NUTS and BOLTS package from Networks Associates International. I tried and used both for quite three years but wasn't satisfied with the result.

Some times ago I came across a little tool named: "System Crash Modifier" designed by Kevin Lyall which is a wonder. It does the job perfectly and believe me or not since I installed it my system is more stable and Internet Explorer crashes are scarce...I am plainly satisfied. Now I run multiple applications when conferencing on line without the appearance of the dreadful "fatal error" blue screen.

In addition "System Crash Modifier" features a nice "System Info" panel which you can reach by:

1- Clicking the "Help" button and then the "About"; and at the right bottom corner:
2- The "System Info" button

Kevin Lyall' System Crash Modifier is available for free here.