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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 5:57 pm
My neighbour is up on charges of feline murder. I think there is something wrong with the whole family actually - I've never liked the Curiosities.
Letting the cat out of the bag
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:43 am
Well I feel a little guilty actually - I should have just left it there so they couldn't find it... you see I was the one who let the little pussy out of the flexible container with a single opening...
Letting sleeping dogs lie
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:49 am
You had good reason to put it in there if I recall, wasn't that cat the one who would not let the slumbering canines remain prone?
His bark is worse than his bite
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:01 am
Yes - yes it was. A noisy pup too - I'd rate his woofing sound a good 7 on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst. When he savaged me though, I was quite surprised. If asked to rate that experience I'd probably only give it a 4 or 5.
You can lead a horse to water ...
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:06 am
I also had a rather surprising experience with one of my pets the other day. You remember Snowball? My black mare with four white socks? Well I was taking her for a walk down to the lake, and you know what? There was no way I could cajole her into partaking of the H2o, although I was eventually quite rough ...
Locking the stable door after the horse has bolted
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:14 am
You obviously haven't checked on Snowball today... Well I'd better confess.
I had a sudden urge earlier to visit Snowball and have a quick ride before coming to work you see. I didn't think you'd mind. The thing is, when I opened the stable door the beastly creature just took off. I was a little irritated so I thought I'd close the door to teach it a lesson. I then locked it for good measure - horses these days are getting more and more dextrous!
So how are you?
No use beating a dead horse
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:28 am
To be honest I am slightly taken aback, yet relieved! I did check on Snowball this morning, and when I noticed she was not there, I followed her tracks. I eventually found her, lying on her back with her legs in the air. Assuming that she was being incredibly lazy I set about her with a short length of timber, but she would not arise, no matter how strenuous my exertions! I'm glad I can sue you for letting her out and contributing to her untimely demise.
Counting unhatched chickens all in one basket
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:05 am
Well the other day I bought a dozen eggs and put them all in a container that was woven and had handles. They're still here next to me - I've counted them a couple of times too, just to be sure. That's twelve chickens on the way!
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:13 am
Well if I were you (and thankfully, I'm not) I would try and pick them all up with your bare mitts - apparently they are more valuable in that situation than in, say, a small shrub.
Don't beat around the bush!
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:17 am
Here's a suggestion. Why don't you get a large stick, find that small shrub, and repeatedly strike the ground next to it? I think that would be a far better suggestion.
Between a rock and a hard place
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:22 am
If it is the small shrub that I am thinking of, there is not alot of ground next to it to be waving sticks around in - you see, it is between a chunk of solidified lava and an area which is really quite firm ...
To kill two birds with one stone
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:32 am
Ooh bugger. Ok I have some good new and some bad news. The good news is the chickens have hatched (sadly there were only nine... perhaps I shouldn't have counted them earlier?). The bad news is I accidentally dropped a lump of hard consolidated mineral matter into their box. Tragically two of them died.
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:41 am
I'm shocked! In the house that you live in (the one composed entirely of a silica/oxygen compound) I can't believe that you'd be chucking pieces of igneous deposits! I've told you not to, who knows what the consequences could be!
A Dime A Dozen
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:07 pm
I know I know. I should be more careful. I'm not so worried about the number of chickens that hatched. Did I mention I got them for a steal? A man at the market (who I noticed could have been a picnic if he only had a few more sandwiches) sold them to me for an old US ten cent piece!
Blood is thicker than water
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:12 pm
Actually I think I know that guy - was it Bob Blood? I saw him involved in a loud quarrel on Wednesday afternoon. Unfortunately for Bob I had to side with the other guy, Tim Water, whose arguments were persuasive and well reasoned. But, as everyone around here already knows, Blood is thicker than Water ...