Aaron's Adventures

Where finished works of art go when they're... um... finished...
ejaewon
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Aaron's Adventures

Post by ejaewon » Tue Oct 28, 2003 12:03 pm

Barry could see nothing. Everything was black. He felt unusually cold, wet and sticky. And tired. "Hello little Aaron!" barked someone. Barry realised he must be Aaron, not Barry. Aaron was a little unnerved discovering that he could understand the hoarse barking sound perfectly.

Aaron yawned and stretched and slowly forced his eyes to open. It was the first time he'd done this, since he was only born a few minutes prior. He looked up and was very surprised to find the massive, grotesque face of an aardvark peering lovingly into his sticky eyes. From this, he surmised, he was indeed a baby aardvark, and was, therefore, destined to spend his days eating aardvark food, like ants and termites, and doing aardvark things, like eating ants and termites. And having two A's before both his name and his species. His mother obviously had a sense of humour.

He looked to his left and discovered he had haunches. He sat on them and decided to get a good look at his surroundings and therefore his future life. He decided, knowing little about aardvarks, that he must be in a burrow, for all around there were walls of dark red dirt, and a thin ray of sunshine was shining from beyond the gigantic, bulbous head of his mother. He decided his mother looked not unlike a stretched pig, and suddenly detested her greatly.
Last edited by ejaewon on Tue Oct 28, 2003 10:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

rain
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Aaron's Adventures - Part 2

Post by rain » Tue Oct 28, 2003 1:22 pm

He was, however, surprised to find that although he did detest her, with a loathing never before felt in his tiny body, part of him really wanted to suck on her teats. He stuggled against the urge, but felt his new body inching its way towards her. To say he was ungainly would be an understatement. He was like a small piece of dung attempting re-entry.

Eventually he arrived at his mothers side and, while mentally gagging, started to feast from her mammoth aardvarkian mammories. "This tastes like shit ..." Aaron thought to himself. "I can't wait 'til I'm frigging weaned!"

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Aaron's Adventures - Part 3

Post by ejaewon » Tue Oct 28, 2003 10:21 pm

Nigh on half an hour passed and Aaron, satiated at last, was able to withdraw. The gargantuan aardvark nipple popped out of his fuzzy little mouth like a super heated knob of turd erupting from the ear of a gerbil in an abusive relationship with a bunny.

Aaron was really pissed. He felt used, dirty. Flecks of thick, strong smelling pus-like milk still clinging to his muzzle, Aaron decided he would wreak. He spent a few minutes pondering whether to wreak vengeance or havoc, or maybe something else not usually associated with the word wreak. He wondered quietly to himself whether one could successfully wreak distress and surprise. At last he decided he would find out.

Aaron the aardvark furiously wiped his mouth with his dust covered paw (an effort which was not unlike reusing moistened toilet paper), and stood up sharply. In the few moments before he fell abruptly backwards, knocking himself unconscious on a perfectly placed rock, he noticed two things - one in particular surprised him no end.

rain
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Aaron’s Adventures - Part 4

Post by rain » Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:13 pm

The first thing Aaron noticed, with only a mild sense of surprise considering the fact that he had woken up as a newborn aardvark, was that he did not seem to possess the muscle power to stand on his hind legs. The second thing, and the one that probably would have caused him to fall over even if he hadn't forgotten he was no longer a biped, was the fact that his mother appeared to be doing laybacks with a duty-free sized bottle of tequila.

Slowly Aaron regained conciousness. It was with a feeling of utter disbelief, when he finally managed to focus his piggy little eyes, that he saw that his mother was trying rather unsuccessfully to give the by now half finished bottle of tequila (which was almost as large as her) some kind of lap dance. The fact that the bottle lacked a lap didn't seem to worry her unduly, but her writhing body kept slipping off the shiny glass exterior.

"Now that's pretty fucked up, right there .." he murmured to himself.

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Aaron’s Adventures - Part 5

Post by ejaewon » Wed Oct 29, 2003 11:48 pm

Aaron made up his unusually lucid mind right then and there that there was no way he was sticking around for more of this shit. With a hoarse groan of pain he gingerly rolled over and stood up carefully - this time using all four of his stumpy little legs. He glanced over at his mother, who by this stage appeared to be trying to engulf the bottle with her ample buttocks, and started gagging. The scene was as much vulgar as it was incredible given the dimensions of both participants.

Barely holding in the congealed mess forced down his gullet earlier (and not really understanding why he wasn't jumping at the chance to plaster the revolting custard-like glob all over the walls and floor), he slowly and awkwardly made his way towards the entrance, keeping his eyes averted from the sordid happenings between his mother, obviously a complete lush, and the innocent and much abused tequila bottle.

Unexpectedly, the burrow fell suddenly silent. For a moment there was a wet sucking sound, followed closely by a soggy slurping sound. Then a sigh and some laboured breathing. Poor Aaron had taken not eight steps when he heard his mother’s voice, between heavy breathing and throaty gurgles. "Aaron…dear… You’re… awake…" she panted. More clearly now, "And where the fuck do you think you’re going?"

rain
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Aaron’s Adventures - Part 6

Post by rain » Fri Oct 31, 2003 1:26 pm

"Why, mother! I happened to notice that you seem to be running dangerously low on liquor, so I am merely going to locate you some more ..." Aaron simpered, still edging his way cautiously towards the entrance of the burrow.
"Sweet baby - well, off you go, and hurry back. There's a good boy!" Aaron's mother barked tenderly, before crashing to the ground in a drunken stupor.

Aaron began to run, urgently but ridiculously incompetantly, making the nearby entrance of the burrow in a matter of minutes. "I've got to get the hang of these things, or I'll never make it out there ..." he murmured to himself. Hesitantly he poked his long nose out of the burrow entrance, and breathed in the fresh air, untainted by the smells of tequila and randy, pissed mother aardvark. It smelt wonderful. But there was another smell on the wind, one that made the many little hairs on Aaron's little neck stand up. Somewhere in Aaron's aardvarkian mind that slight smell triggered fear.

Half in and half out of the burrow, Aaron was in turmoil. Should he go back in to the comparitive, but repulsive, safety of his mother's home? Or should he risk meeting whatever it was making the frightening smell out there somewhere, on his own? Virtually helpless, unable to defend himself, or escape any attack ... Should he bide his time, until he had better control of his legs and was stronger? Aaron knew he had to make his mind up, and fast, when he heard a groan from inside the burrow. His mother was coming round.

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Aaron’s Adventures - Part 7

Post by ejaewon » Sat Nov 01, 2003 10:33 pm

Aaron looked back into the burrow and caught sight of his mother looking around with bloodshot eyes and gurgling random words: "Urgh... Black Russian – yes! Yes... Oh! What a surprise! Would you like a crumpet? No? Urgh... Be a dear and take these chopsticks upstairs to the dark mollusc... What? Twelve? That's absurd! I distinctly remember asking for a large grogan in a bun..." And it went on.

Aaron could take it no more. If he stayed until he was strong, he would surely go quite insane. Bravely, he took his first step outside the burrow. He looked hither, straining to see with his as yet underdeveloped eyes what was emitting the stench of danger. Then he looked thither, hoping to see a little better. Lastly, he looked yon, and still saw nothing but dirt, grass and blurry, indistinct shapes in the distance.

A small, gopher-like shape in the distance seemed like the safest blurry shape, so he set off in that direction. His short, inadequate legs trundling beneath him, he attempted to scurry, but only succeeded in shambling. As the gopher-like shape became larger and clearer, he began to feel a deep sense of foreboding. He noticed the gopher-like shape had started to move, and was coming towards him! Terrified, he attempted to reign in his trundling limbs, but only succeeded in falling headlong into the dust. He coughed, spluttered and shook his large, ungainly skull. Then, a large, gopher-like shape fell over him. Shaking, he looked up to see the caster of the shadow. With a painful thud, his jaw hit the ground, and he thought to himself, “That’s what the smell was! How could I forget?”

rain
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Aaron’s Adventures - Part 8

Post by rain » Mon Nov 03, 2003 11:20 am

Aaron could see nothing. Everything was black. He felt unusually cold, wet and sticky. And tired. "Hello little Wesley!" squeaked someone. Aaron goggled. That didn't sound like an aardvark, and who the blue blazes was Wesley? He tried to force his eyes to open, and found to his horror, that they seemed to be glued shut. What the hell was going on?

"Hey!! Who is that?" he demanded - and found that he too was speaking in a language that was not aardvark. "Where am I? Have I been kidnapped?!" He writhed, and squirmed, and achieved nothing.

"Wesley, my little angel! Of course you haven't been kidnapped darling boy - you've just been born ..."
Last edited by rain on Mon Nov 03, 2003 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ejaewon
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Aaron’s Adventures - Part 9

Post by ejaewon » Mon Nov 03, 2003 5:08 pm

"Aaaaaaarrrrghggghghhhh!!!!!!" Aaron let out a blood-curdling scream as he awoke with a start from the terrible nightmare. He sat bolt upright and looked around. All was dark and he could still see nothing. He wondered whether he was still asleep or not.

"Hello little Wesley!" squeaked someone. Aaron's jaw hit the floor again as a torch light came on with a click, illuminating the area he was in. He discovered then that the voice belonged to a large, odd-looking weasel. Only this was no ordinary weasel, he saw. It was holding a torch in its left paw, swinging a dried mouse in its right paw, wearing gumboots, a girdle and seemed to have lipstick on!

"M-my name is Aaron, not Wesley!" he stammered. "Oh, nonsense! You're Wesley. Wesley Weasel! Did you have a nice sleep, dear?" He looked down and discovered that he seemed to own haunches still, indeed he recognised them as the same haunches he sat on way back when he was born last. Wondering why he was glad he still had aardvark haunches, he once again sat on them and thought about what to do next.

rain
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Aaron’s Adventures - Part 10

Post by rain » Mon Nov 03, 2003 5:47 pm

"Who are you?" Aaron asked dazedly. "Why Wesley, it's me, your mother!" The strange weasel creature replied. Aaron squinted for a moment, to get a clearer view of the weasel past the bright light of the torch. "Well, mother, I'm not David Attenborough, and neither is Kevin, but from what I can see you are ill equipped in one area to be my mother, and rather too well endowed in another ..."

"Oh, that ..." the creature fumbled hurriedly with it's corset, managing to hide it's telltale evidence ... "I, um - wait a second ..." it spun around, and there was more frenzied adjustment, accompanied by a few choice words muttered under its weasel breath. When it finally turned back to face Aaron, it no longer had the mouse in its paw, but there was a suspiciously mouse shaped bulge in the top of the corset.

"Listen, whoever you are - let's just stop the charade shall we? It's obvious that you are not my mother. I remember my mother well. She was a reprehensible, drunken, vulgar aardvark slurry.That fact, my friend, is sadly impossible to forget. You, on the other hand, seem to be some sort of cross-dressing, kidnapping, weasel oddity ... I may be young, but I can certainly tell the difference!"

"Wesley, Wesley, Wesley!" the weasel chortled, "You must be mistaken! I think your brain may have fallen out when you hit the ground!" The animal began to make its way towards him, smiling nastily.

"STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, WARREN!!" A voice thundered. Warren did.

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Aaron’s Adventures - Part 11

Post by ejaewon » Mon Nov 03, 2003 6:18 pm

A rather plump, very angry looking weasel appeared. "Warren Winston Weasel! Turn around RIGHT NOW young man!" With a glum look on his face, Warren slowly turned around, head bowed. "Mother! You're home unexpectedly early!" he snivelled, looking up briefly trying to gauge how angry she was. "What have I told you about wearing my undergarments? Take that off right now!"

While Warren disrobed, Aaron took the opportunity to shrink into the shadows, hoping not be noticed by the rather large, more dangerous creature. "WARREN!!! You sick freak! What have you done to poor little Myxo? You KNOW I've been looking for him for weeks!" the mother gasped, gesturing to the dead mouse which bounced free as the corset dropped to the ground.

"Mother! It's not what you think! It got into the habit of crawling into odd places! I was asleep, and... and... there was a strange feeling! And... and..." She had obviously had enough, because at that point the mother grabbed one of Warren's ears and started dragging him away. "Ouch! Ow! Mother! No! No please!" he pleaded, kicking and screaming. "I'll tan your hide! I swear it!" she swore. "Shit!" she swore again, grabbing a knife and a bottle marked "Tannin" on the way out.

rain
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Aaron's Adventures - Part 12

Post by rain » Mon Nov 03, 2003 7:08 pm

"Well, I guess this is my chance ..." Aaron thought to himself, "I'm going to have to get out of here too ... I don't know how much longer I can cope with this sort of stress!" Aaron crept from his shadowy hiding place and shambled after Warren and his mother, hoping there was enough distance between them to avoid a meeting.

Aaron made it outside, and judging from the undignified pleading sounds coming from behind a nearby rock, Warren and his mother were discussing his behaviour.

Aaron began to canter away. At least his legs were beginning to get the hang of things, he noticed happily, glancing down at them. "Yeah, baby! I'm a quadraped - and it's cool ..." he smiled. For the first time since his birth, several hours earlier, he was a little bit happy. He could feel the wind in his hair (Well perhaps not quite wind - a little breeze), and his stumpy little legs were carrying him to freedom - wherever that was.

Aaron paused for a moment, to consider which direction he should go - where was this mystical place "freedom", and how long would it take to get there - he was getting hungry.

"Hey, you! Down here! Hey!!" Aaron heard a tiny voice nearby. He looked down to see a tiny, fuzzy face looking at him. "Get off me you big lump!" the face yelled.

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Aaron's Adventures - Part 13

Post by ejaewon » Mon Nov 03, 2003 8:33 pm

"Oh my goodness!" cried Aaron, hurriedly moving his front leg off the caterpillar. "I'm terribly sorry! Are you alright?"

"Oh you will be sorry, bitch!" The small, brown, fuzzy little insect shook itself like a horse, and neighed. "As soon as my bowels descend back from my throat! This is one larva you don't want to mess with!"

Aaron giggled. Having been threatened by a drunken, hussy of an aardvark, followed closely by a near death experience with a couple of weasels, he found a tiny, fuzzy caterpillar threatening him tremendously funny. Wiping a tear of mirth from his eye, Aaron hunkered. "You're funny. What's your name?"

"Terry. Wait - oh you want some of this? Come on! Come get some, bitch! I can take ya! You want a taste of some Terry, huh?" said Terry. Aaron considered Terry's suggestion for a moment. He was a little peckish... and Terry did seem nice and meaty...

rain
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Aaron's Adventures - Part 14

Post by rain » Wed Nov 05, 2003 2:24 pm

On the other hand, Aaron mused - one little caterpillar was not going to satisfy his hunger forever ... Perhaps there was some other way that Terry could be of service to him.

"What, you scared?! You a little bit afraid of me? Terry too much for you mo fo?!!" Terry shrieked, putting up his many dukes.

Aaron pretended to shake, "Please don't hurt me Terry, I just want to be friends." he murmured, and then began to sob pathetically, attempting to tug on Terry's heart strings. "I'm just a baby, all alone, like you ..." he collapsed carefully onto the dirt, a safe distance from Terry, and began to beat the ground with his head. "All alone," BANG, "All alone," BANG, sniffle, weep, wail, BANG, sob, BANG, groan, sniffle, BANG.

"Hey there, dickhead, stop that!" Terry soothed tenderly, "Look, I'm sorry, of course we can be friends, you wanker ..."

Aaron sobbed triumphantly, and raised himself up from the dirt, back on to those handy haunches of his. "Really Terry? Oh, but that's just spiffing!" he grinned, aardvarkily. "What say we go get some food then? I think I'm ready for solids ..."

Terry peered up at Aaron, considering. "OK, follow me, bitch." he grunted, and started humping across the dirt. Aaron meandered slowly behind him for several centimetres before becoming bored at the rate they were proceeding. "How about you sit on my face and tell me where to go?" Aaron suggested, Terry's reply left him speechless.

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Aaron's Adventures - Part 15

Post by ejaewon » Thu Nov 06, 2003 11:32 pm

Aaron was too shocked for words. He could not believe what he’d just heard. "Well? You gunna say something, cock nose?" sputtered Terry, quite enraged. He seemed to be swelling slightly the more agitated he became. "Don't just stand there staring! You pathetic, pink piece of poo!"

Aaron’s jaw was yet again resting calmly on the ground under him, quite separate from his skull, and his eyes were bulging impressively from their sockets. After a few more moments of constant verbal abuse, Aaron snapped. His eyes popped back into place, and he recovered his jaw. Brow furrowed in fury, he leant down, mouth open, ready to suck the warm, engorged giblets from within Terry. He paused momentarily, and, nervous about aardvarkian hygiene, he contemplated using Terry’s empty skin to floss his inadequate teeth.

“Terry? Terry! Have you been antagonising aardvarks again?” Aaron looked in the direction of the owner of the shrill voice – another caterpillar, an odd shade of puce, was thrusting its way nimbly towards them. “Sheryl? Bugger off, I’m about to bring our lunch home, fluffy!” Terry said, motioning vaguely towards Aaron.

“Mmm - two plump munchies,” muttered Aaron, again leaning forward, ready to feast upon Terry and Sheryl’s entrails...

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